Addiction is a family illness. We may have treated the addict, but at times, we have sent them back to relapse. It's because the addict is a result of his/her environment. If the family is sick, even a recovering addict will not be strong enough to resist the disease at home. In other words, the family has to heal for a full resolution of the addiction. If it does not, it is advisable for addicts to seek shelter away from the family. Recovery depends on a healthy and supportive family system.
It is for this purpose that we, at Solace Sabah, have designed a family workshop. We want our clients to have the benefit of family support, post-treatment. You have shown your loved one unconditional love by bringing them into treatment. Now, it's time for the household, as a whole, to come to terms with the addiction. It's time to learn how to involve yourself in the life of your loved one's recovery.
We hold our family workshops, once every quarter of the year. That's four times a year. In these seminars, you will get a better view of addiction and how to live with a recovering addict. You will know how to maintain appropriate boundaries with your addict loved one. Moreover, you will see what was at work in active addiction. To sum up, you will have guidance on how to create a healthy family system suited to the benefit of all involved.
We would like to invite your addict's entire support system to join in on the workshops. It involves family and friends, who have the well-being of your addict loved one, at heart. The skills you will all learn here will be invaluable for living and sustaining the new life gained.
Based on the circumstances, your addict loved one might attend the workshops. It is not compulsory that they join as the seminar caters to the needs of families. Your user loved ones have a program of recovery to undergo on the day of your workshops. So, it may not be appropriate for them to join. But, there will be a separate function where families will meet their addict loved ones.
Your family will not be alone in these workshops. Attending alongside will be relatives and friends of our other clients. Seeing and connecting with others who suffer the same, is in itself, a healing remedy. You will find a common bond and work together for the well-being of yourselves and your loved ones. We are all in this together.
We have divided the workshop into five lectures. Lecture one will introduce you to the addictive personality. Addiction isn't about the substances, but the behaviours your loved ones have. All addicts have the same negative characteristics. These behaviours are a part of the illness. It is not the fault of your loved one but is because they have a spiritual disease. Knowing this will help you understand why your loved one acted in hurtful ways. These attitudes will not change because addiction is a chronic illness. But, living in an understanding way will help your relationship grow with the addict.
In lecture two, we will look at the fuel for the addiction. These are the negative core beliefs of the addict. They are sayings, which have kept the addiction alive. For example, "I'm not good enough," or "I must be perfect." You will also learn how we teach our addicts in treatment how to dispute them. We call these the "ABCDEs" of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). Do click here, to read more on CBT.
Lecture three looks at the dysfunctional family system. You will learn how the family has been toxic to the life of your addict loved one. Learning this is essential information for you. Re-creating functionality in the family is necessary for recovery. If nothing changes in the family, the addict will resort to the addiction to escape, like he/she had done in the past.
We cannot guarantee 100% recovery until the family learns to take responsibility. To do that, you will learn your part in the dysfunction and how each family member had a role to play in this disease. We need you and your family members to be open-minded, willing, and honest in this process for it to work.
Lecture four will introduce you to what a healthy family system is. You will see how it compares to the dysfunction experienced. You will learn how a wholesome family creed will benefit the system.
We will close the workshop with lecture five. Here, you will learn that recovery is progress and not perfection. There will still be some dysfunction, even after treatment is over, on both sides. It's because both addicts and family members suffer from codependence. You will learn what codependency is and how to strive for healthier alternatives.
These workshops are not pain-free. But, they are guarantees for happier times beyond this darker phase of family history. If we do not change what's wrong in the present, then, the future's destiny is set in our diseased ways, forever.
It's vital for you to become aware of what's been at work to be free from this never-ending cycle of pain and shame. Only with knowledge, awareness, and action; comes the power to change. This change will be gradual, difficult, yet rewarding in more ways than one.
It's a priceless gift of receiving your loved one back into your home. Cherishing that life and loving it is what's needed here. It's been awhile since that's happened, hasn't it? With time and healing, recovery is a certainty.